Archive for the ‘Modesty’ Category

Having been covering my hair for awhile now, I am beginning to run across other situations that had never occurred to me as “issues” before.

Like swimming.

We don’t go swimming much… Public beaches and water-parks are just too immodest for any of us to feel comfortable.

But I do want the children to learn to swim… For safety when they may be near water (fishing, boating, etc.), or even the occasional time we may want to go swimming – in a quiet “swimming hole,” at a friend’s house, who knows?

Jewel had some lessons last year through the local public pool, and I was excited to see that this year we were in time to sign her up for lessons at the base pool. When we went for registration, we learned that they also have “Mommy/Daddy & Me” lessons for R.T.’s age.

Hmmmm.

Suddenly my “it doesn’t matter” solution of just wearing a bandanna headcovering when we were near the water (something I could easily care for if it happened to get wet) didn’t seem to get the job done. A soaked bandanna is clearly not going to stay put when I’m swishing around in the pool with R.T.

I was delighted to find Princess Modest Swimwear. An Israeli company, they provide modest swimwear with an eye towards traditional Jewish modesty requirements – including headcoverings.

I picked out this one, “Aqua and Black”, which goes with the makeshift swim outfit I am wearing this season. (Swimwear, yeah, that’s got to be an entire separate post, don’t you think?)

It is essentially an ordinary lycra swim cap in the base color, with a black triangle “bandanna” of peachskin microfiber (the quick-drying stuff that men’s swim suits are often made of) sewn along one edge. You can then wrap and tie it in a variety of ways.

Looks cute, dries quickly, and it’s even SPF 50+.

My only concern was one that is, while of course not “unique,” certainly one that most of you needn’t worry about – it’s One Size Fits All.

As I explained to someone recently (someone else who sold clothing items, who should have known better!), being tall makes a lot of difference in everything. Someone who is six feet tall is simply proportionately bigger in every respect than someone who is five feet tall. So, while of course everyone is shaped differently, overall the taller person will tend to have a bigger shoe size, a bigger wrist measurement for bracelets, and – yeah – a bigger hat size. (And on top of that I do have quite a bit of hair).

I exchanged a few emails and a phone call with Galia, the owner of Princess Modest Swimwear, who proved knowledgeable and very sweet. She described the fit, said that it was roomier than last year’s, and suggested I check out the photos of the woman in the purple suit on the website, who had very big hair. In the end, though, she didn’t want me to purchase it if I was going to wind up unhappy.

Given all that, I decided to purchase it, with the clearly stated intention that I would take the chance, give her feedback on the fit either way, and pass it on to bless someone else if it turned out not to fit. That’s where you come it – skip down to the bottom if you can’t wait!

The magic of Google allowed me to find a lycra swim cap in an XL size (in a cute coordinating print, even), which is working out very well for actual pool usage. (Heads-up if you go on such a search – sites that have swim caps also often carry advertisements for swim suits, and not modest ones, either!)

I can certainly see, though, that if I was going to be spending the day with Wolf and Jewel while they fished (not my thing), or similarly “hanging out” in a possibly-wet-but-not-swimming setting, it would be nice to have the additional “scarf” piece to reduce the possibly dorky I’M A SWIM CAP look.

Maybe Galia will take pity on me,
and offer an XL size next year!

BUY IT!

Order your own stylish Swim Head Covering directly from Princess Modest Swimwear.

As of today (disclaimer just in case someone digs this up later) they sell for $14, with Free Shipping in Israel, or $5 Shipping anywhere else in the world.

WIN IT!

One lucky As For My House reader will win their own Aqua/Black Swim Head Covering

This is the one that I ordered to check out. It has only been tried on, never worn out of the house or around water…

Make sure to leave your email address with each comment. (Used only to contact the winner. If your email is entered in the form it will be saved for me but not displayed).

1. Leave a comment here letting me know what you currently do (or don’t do!) about headcovering in the water.

Extra Entries (leave separate comments for each).

Once you have completed #1, you can earn additional entries by doing any or all of the following.

2. Become a Facebook Fan of Princess Modest Swimwear.

3. Subscribe to As For My House in your favorite feed reader, or by email. (Current subscribers count, too!)

4. and 5. Post this giveaway to your Facebook wall (leave your Facebook name), or Tweet about it (and leave the link)! Each may be done daily for extra entries.

In additon to these, there are MANY more ways to earn extra entries. You know, all the usual stuff like sharing on Facebook, Tweeting, and so on? Just click over to our Giveaway Policy page for all the details!

This giveaway ends 7/11/2011 at 11:59pm (Central), or more likely some time the following morning when I log in again. (If you can still leave a comment, you can still enter).

The winner will be chosen using random.org and announced on the blog, as well as contacted by email. Winner must respond within 48 hours, or a new winner will be selected. I will ship to your U.S. mailing address only. You may choose to pay the difference if you would like insurance, or shipping to anywhere else – Canada, Costa Rica, or wherever!

** This giveaway is now closed. Look for the winner to be announced in a separate post. **

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I hardly expected to find an article saying the same things as my recent rant about immodest clothes for little girls on CNN.com.

Yep, you read that right.

LZ Granderson wrote a very strongly worded article called, Parents, don’t dress your girls like tramps. YES!!

There was even a piece on this issue that aired on Good Morning America, complete with pop psychology about why little girls shouldn’t dress that way.

And to all those who lament that they buy it because, “that’s what’s out there in the stores”?

You’ve all heard my thoughts on that, but LZ has another very pointed declaration:

Why are the retailers selling that stuff?

Because we’re buying it!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is still such a thing as “voting with your wallet”.

Stores keep selling it because consumers keep buying it, so those of us who don’t like it assume that we are in a small minority.

But LZ’s column gives me hope that this is not the case. Perhaps this is another case of the silent majority.

• There are, no doubt, some people who like those things for their little girl, as puzzling as that seems.
• Then there are some people who are totally indifferent, and buy it because it’s there.
• And some who feel peer pressure, and some who give in to their children’s peer pressure, who buy it because it is what some celebrity is wearing.
• Of course then comes the potentially huge group of people who don’t necessarily like these clothes for their child, but allow them to wear it because it is “all that’s out there”, and they haven’t bothered to take the next step and find an alternative. (As I mentioned in my post linked above, this includes an alarming number of Christian families, including those in positions of leadership).
• Combined with the admittedly smaller group of us who are already actively avoiding these items

If people really would just speak up, we could change the world…

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

In addition to the usual application of this verse, I believe very strongly that this is something we ought to bear in mind as we dress our little girls.

Too often I hear from parents that they don’t necessarily think that what their daughters wear is ideal, but that they don’t have any choice since those styles are all that’s available at WalMart, at the mall, or wherever they usually shop.

That makes me angry, and sad, and frustrated… Poor Jesus, sitting up there looking down on us.

We should be willing to give our lives for our convictions, but in the end we’re not even willing to shop a little longer, spend a little more, or learn sew a little, if that’s what it takes to guard our daughters’ purity.

There are clothes today being marketed to little girls that not that long ago would only have been considered appropriate for grown women.

And there are clothes today being marketed to little girls that not that long ago would have been considered inappropriate for anyone outside of “the world’s oldest profession.”

(I’m not even going to get into the issue of bathing suits here, as that is another topic in its own right, and a deserves a post all its own.)

What do we think our little girls are learning, when we dress them, or allow them to dress, in clothes that reveal or emphasize parts of their body that are “private”?

What about this top, which I recently received in a box of swapped clothes for Jewel:

Sure, the sleeved sweater top layer covers the shoulders, solving the tank-top immodesty problem… But why does a six year-old need to have something tied across, emphasizing her breasts? Again, remember that although she doesn’t have any mass there yet, we’re training her about how ladies dress.

Would you wear that?

Yes, I realize that this top would not be looked at twice by most folks in our society today, whether worn by a female age 35, age 15, or age 5.

But, like the old Hebrew National hot dog commercial, we’re supposed to be answering to a Higher Authority.

If we don’t train our daughters in modest dress from the beginning, but rather dress them in the same clothes as the rest of the world buys at WalMart, why are surprised when our teenage daughters want to dress in clothes that are designed to be seductive – the same ones the rest of the world buys at WalMart?

Nothing warms my heart like hearing my five year-old daughter lean over and whisper in my ear that the lady who we just passed in the grocery store isn’t dressed modestly!

I wanted to take a minute to share with you a shop I’ve been blessed to find: Jumpin’ Bloomers. (All photos in this post are from their site).

They offer, as the name might suggest, several adorable options in bloomers for ladies (from infant to adult!).

I have ordered several pairs for Jewel, and we have been delighted.

The fit is comfortable (and they will gladly adjust to your measurements), the style is cute, the construction is sturdy… And of course, they are a necessary item for the modesty of active girls.

Did I mention that the price is right?

I still feel guilty for not sewing everything myself, but in the moments of realism I am able to search out other people who are more gifted in this area, and appreciate the blessing of their ministry.

They’ve just added a third style of cuff – and option for a wide piece of lace edging the bottom of the bloomers. Perfect for my little princess on her LESS crazy days!

Jumpin’ Bloomers also has petticoats, aprons, dresses, nightgowns, and more. How cute are these Prairie Dresses and Pinafores?

So, if you’re also not yet up to making it all yourself, here’s another option for keeping the young ladies dressed as, well, young ladies.

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A comment was left on another post that I thought was worth sharing:

Hello Tiffany,

I just came across your blog and it’s interesting to me. I have been dressing modestly and conservatively for a year or so, and learned to sew in order to make my own dresses. But I have one problem: I have a job in the deli department of a grocery store that requires “black pants” as part of the dress code. They do allow me to wear my headcovering as long as I wear a hairnet underneath, but asking permission to wear skirts seems like a real stretch. I’m really not sure what I should do.

As it happens, this is a subject that we have discussed in various forms, as we contemplate how life will play out for Jewel as she grows up with these beliefs. (I was not raised this way, nor was Wolf’s family following this path).

We agree that there are certain sports or activities that require or are facilitated by a specific garment, and we are willing to consider a gi for martial arts, a split skirt for horseback riding or fencing, or a modest swimsuit for swimming (Jewel has one from Wholesome Wear).

Many jobs have uniforms, and wearing a proper uniform is a condition of employment.

In some jobs, the uniform is clearly immodest, and they seem unlikely to allow a modest alternative – for example Hot Dog on a Stick, Hooters, Victoria’s Secret models, or NFL Cheerleaders. In these cases, the immodest nature of the costume is a key part of the job. This, obviously, is a job we would never want our daughter to take… And, by extension, we feel that no young (or old!) lady should take, and, in fact, society would be better off without.

In some other jobs, the uniform is immodest for practical reasons – which would apply to pretty much any hard physical labor job, such as construction, plumbing, mechanic, etc. Although I would not personally say “couldn’t”, it does seem that in these cases it would be difficult, awkward, and sometimes potentially dangerous to do these jobs in a modest skirt. Although not a popular view in modern society, this is a case where I am glad men can do these jobs and women don’t have to!

The job in question, to my way of thinking, falls into this next category. In some jobs, as pants were becoming normalized as female attire in our society, women probably fought for the right to be allowed to wear pants not all that long ago! There is no more reason someone working in a deli should not be allowed to wear a skirt, than a secretary, or a waitress, or a nurse.

In this type of job, the uniform that they instruct you to wear may specify “pants,” just because it never occurred to anybody that any other choices ought to be included or considered. Usually, a polite and direct request will be met with – perhaps surprise or confusion first, but acceptance.

I have seen women wearing modest clothing in grocery store delis, fast food restaurants, and other situations where “everyone wears pants”. (And I always try to thank them for being a good example!)

From this particular question: Having already worked there and worn pants, you may feel awkward about stating that this is a strongly held religious conviction will seem hypocritical. I would simply be candid when you speak to your supervisor about it, explaining that (whatever the case may be):

• You were afraid to have the conversation, because you value your job, but your conscience is bothering you more and more about what you truly believe about feminine attire
• You have been studying the Bible and becoming more and more convinced about the importance of feminine attire
• Etc.

Odds are, I believe, that the uniform policy can be changed to include a skirt option in the vast majority of cases. You may have to step through some hoops: going to HR, calling a Corporate office, waiting for a Board meeting, or whatever… But following through on this process is an important Kingdom work that you can do!

There is, of course, some chance that you will come up against adamant refusal, and then you will have a choice to make. A job is a precious commodity in this economy, and I realize it seems like a horrible bind.

But we must remember that we are called to make all our choices based on the Word.

Matthew 6:24 – No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

People take or refuse to take jobs every day based on their standards of morality. You would probably not dream of taking a job at Hooters… A difference of degree is no difference.

Seven Days in a Dress… Time to reflect on the journey!

Here’s the links to the history, so you can read any of the previous installments:
Take the Challenge! (Introduction)
Day 1 (Sunday “Go To Meetin’ Clothes”)
Day 2 (Shoe Musings)
Day 3 (Family Photos)
Day 4 (Work Day)
Day 5
Day 6
Day 7

For starters, I’m going to step through the excellent questions that are posted at the Challenge’s home, Feelin’ Feminine. These are not as exciting or thought-provoking for me as they might be for someone doing the Challenge from a standpoint of not being accustomed to wearing skirts all the time…

• How was the experience for you?

I was challenged by the suddenly chilly weather, which we were not entirely prepared for. It forced me to find a way to get through the situation, while maintaining my commitment to modest, feminine dress.

• Did wearing skirts rather than pants affect:
• The way you felt about yourself?

This week did not change that, as I have been full-time in skirts for quite a while. But it definitely does remind me always that I am a woman, and gloriously different from a man!

• The way you acted?

It does change the way I act somewhat, as it reminds me of my femininity. It serves as a nudge that I do not need to put on a show of feminist virtues… I graciously allow men to open doors for me, assist me with packages, and open stuck jars. It’s God plan, and it’s wonderful!

• The way you carried yourself?

This, too, changes when I think of myself as a feminine lady in a flowing (even if not so much!) skirt, rather than just potentially trudging around in pants.

• Were you able to go about everyday activity as freely as pants?

I have found absolutely no occasion where my activities were limited by my skirt as opposed to pants. I see this as a totally fabricated excuse/issue.

Jewel rides her spring horse, jumps on the trampoline, rides a bicycle, and climbs jungle-gyms.

Our fore-mothers did far more strenuous work than most of us will ever be asked to do – keeping a homestead without any modern conveniences, taming the wilderness of the frontier, and on and on…

• How did people respond?

I have made an interesting observation about this.

Before I was saved, before marriage and children, I dressed in a typical worldly “attractive” fashion. I enjoyed the attention that I received from men, and the fact that I always got good service, doors were held open for me, etc.

When I was a frazzled new mom, I did not take as good care of myself as I should. And when I was newly saved, I began to understand the basic principles of modesty. The result was something entirely, let’s face it, frumpy. There was a season of my life when no man looked twice at me, and I opened all my own doors.

But when I truly began to try to understand God’s design for femininity, things shifted yet again. I am still overweight, and I still do not dress in a sensually “attractive” manner. But I do dress in a distinctly feminine manner, and in a humble manner (head covering, etc.). And do you know what? I am again accorded respect from men. Young men at the oil change place are eager to help me, and people regularly do me such courtesies as opening doors.

Like “magic,” I have obtained the same results as the earlier “sexy” dressing – while maintaining my dignity and honoring the Lord!

• After the challenge do you desire to keep wearing skirts more regularly, or were you desperate to wear pants again?

There is no question that “skirts only” is the rule, for me and my house.

What about you?

I hope you’ll think about these questions, and any other observations you may have made during your Seven Days in a Dress. If you’d care to share, it would help us all on our journey to be able to share our wisdom with one another…

Please use the linky to share a link to your blog post (or even a public photo, or an album).

Join us on the journey – Seven Days in a Dress.

Here’s the links to the history, so you can read any of the previous installments:
Take the Challenge! (Introduction)
Day 1 (Sunday “Go To Meetin’ Clothes”)
Day 2 (Shoe Musings)
Day 3 (Family Photos)
Day 4 (Work Day)
Day 5
Day 6

Today is thus actually the eighth of nine postings for our seven days. The Introduction preceded it, and we will follow up tomorrow with the review and reflection…

As I mentioned, I am photographing the outfits one day ahead, for ease of posting – so this is actually Saturday’s outfits. I am also preparing this post Saturday, as we will of course be celebrating Sabbath tomorrow. Nick will be singing with the Youth Choir, so it should be any extra joy-filled service!

Tiffany is wearing a cotton print jumper (which is really, really NOT winter attire!) with a coordinating light blue long sleeved blouse. White head covering, socks, and Keds-like shoes complete the outfit.

Jewel is wearing a fun new (to us) winter jumper, with a white long-sleeved shirt, woolly tights, and black boots. She has colorful rubber bands in her ponytail, and a bright red headband.

Enjoy your Sabbath in a skirt… You are honoring the femininity with which the Lord blessed you!

Please use the linky to share a link to your blog post, a public photo, or an album – along with a thumbnail photo. We can all use some support and inspiration along the way!

Seven Days in a Dress. It’s never too late to begin your own Challenge!

Click to read any of the previous installments you may have missed:
Take the Challenge! (Introduction)
Day 1 (Sunday “Go To Meetin’ Clothes”)
Day 2 (Shoe Musings)
Day 3 (Family Photos)
Day 4 (Work Day)
Day 5

Today’s photo shows us – in profile! The bright sun was tormenting us, so we told it to “talk to the back”!

Tiffany is wearing a denim skirt (note that this is not the same as the denim jumper!), a navy/green/brown/cream striped sweater, a navy head covering, and brown socks and shoes.

Jewel also has on a denim skirt. She’s wearing a brown long-sleeved t-shirt under a pink sweater, with pink tights and brown boots. The pink knit cap is a popular item lately, too – she also has gloves! I’m sorry you can’t see the tights or the shirt layering in the photo… It’s really very cute!

Okay, hold on…

Well, at least you can see the tights!

So, how are you feeling? We’ve come most of the way through a week already… Was it harder or easier than you thought?

Please join our fellowship! Use the linky to share a link to your blog post, a public photo, or an album – along with a thumbnail photo.

Seven Days in a Dress. It’s never too late to begin your own Challenge!

Click to read any of the previous installments you may have missed:
Take the Challenge! (Introduction)
Day 1 (Sunday “Go To Meetin’ Clothes”)
Day 2 (Shoe Musings)
Day 3 (Family Photos)
Day 4 (Work Day)

It was chilly, I tell ya! But bright sun causing squints, sorry…

Jewel wears sporty pigtails with her blue skirt, and a black long-sleeved t-shirt under a colorful fleecy pullover. Black tight and her black dressy shoes round out the ensemble. We typically save these shoes for dressy occasions, but Jewel wanted to match with the tights and look good for 4H, so we went with it.

Tiffany has on a black/grey/white striped “cargo” skirt – not my favorite, but good for variety. I found a black tank top to wear under this black sweater, the very one I wasn’t able to wear last Sunday because I felt the weave was too loose to be modest. The accessories are a white head covering, black tights, and my white “Keds” sneakers (these are pretty beat up, and I’m trying to decide if they are a good thing or not worth replacing).

So, how are you feeling? We’ve come most of the way through a week already… Was it harder or easier than you thought?

Please join our fellowship! Use the linky to share a link to your blog post, a public photo, or an album – along with a thumbnail photo.

Seven Days in a Dress. It’s never too late to begin your own Challenge!

Click to read any of the previous installments you may have missed:
Take the Challenge! (Introduction)
Day 1 (Sunday “Go To Meetin’ Clothes”)
Day 2 (Shoe Musings)
Day 3 (Family Photos)

Today is another work-around-the-house day, so not a fashion spectacular. I hope some of you young ladies with prettier clothes will post your photos for all of us to enjoy!

The denim jumper makes an encore appearance! Tiffany is wearing it with a navy blue and grey shirt, a navy head covering, navy blue knee socks (“Look, Ma! I got some cute winter socks!”), and – here they are – the sneakers. Hey, they have blue on them, so they match, right??

Jewel is wearing a lovely black and white herringbone dress, with black tights, and her crazy pink tennis-shoe-boots (she’s five, so we accept these things). She especially wanted to show off the hairstyle she did for herself today: a ponytail with additional rubber-band decorations down the length.

Not having appropriate winter clothing has made this challenge actually a challenge for me. Someone with more disposable income might choose to go buy a few items to add to their wardrobe and more easily overcome such obstacles.

But I guess what I want to say to any of you who are facing obstacles in your journey is this – if you wait to begin your trip until all the traffic lights between you and your destination are green, you’ll never leave your driveway. Just take that first step, in faith…

Come share the journey, and support our Sisters – Iron sharpens iron! Using the link tool below, you can share the link to your blog post, or to a public photo or album – hopefully this version will allow a thumbnail of one of your photos to be displayed, as well.