Archive for the ‘Modesty’ Category

We only have one vehicle, so Wolf rides the bus/train/bus to get to and from work. Last week he came home with an alarming story, and the cell phone picture to prove it.

Dadeland Station is a transit hub. It is the South end of the train line, and a stop for all the area busses.

As he walked into the lobby one morning, he was greeted by an enormous round decal in the center of the floor – a swimming pool. And there, underfoot, life-sized or better, was a woman floating on a raft in a teeny bikini.

To see for yourself, you can View the Picture (naturally, this comes with my advisory that it is an immodest image).

I am aware that “most people” wouldn’t be offended by the picutre, which they would probably argue is entirely non-sexual. (Don’t get me started on how far society has slipped down the slope of accepting indecency!)

But I find it appaling that such a thing would be so rudely thrust “in your face” in a government agency location.

It is wholly unacceptable for the government to be so avidly promoting something which offends the morals and “strongly held religious beliefs” of a sizeable segment of the population.

Not to mention those people who have other issues:

• Men and boys trying to control their hormones (lust)
• Women who feel lowered self-esteem from the unfair comparison
• Those who might be triggered in their struggle with PTSD from past abuse
• “Sex addicts”
• Mothers who don’t feel it’s appropriate for the children they have with them
• People who find it disrespectful to be stepping all over a lady
• And on and on…

Yes, images like this (sadly) are “everywhere” today, but I find two main differences here.

One is the lack of ability to “opt out.”

Magazines and catalogs we can choose to keep out of our lives. I certainly don’t get lingerie catalogs, but I also don’t even get Lands’ End or other catalogs with swimwear (remember the Lands End Facebook debacle?).

Movies and TV we can choose not to watch. Billboards we have to look the other way.

But what about this?

In the lobby of the train station – a portal through which people must pass. And underfoot, where they must look at it at least somewhat (or risk tripping because they aren’t watching where they are going!).

This is far more… invasive? intrusive? forced upon you?

The second, touched upon above, is the government involvement.

By placing this ad in a County facility, the government is endorsing, sponsoring, and profiting from (a) immodesty and immorality, and (b) the discomfort and alienation of a lot of people.

Will you join me in letting them know this should be removed?

Mayor Carlos Alvarez
mayor (at) miamidade.gov

Michael De Cossio
Chief, Transit Advertising & Media Relations
Mike1 (at) miamidade.gov

Women in Our House wear skirts and dresses only, and I know that for a lot of you (even if God has been prickling your conscience about femininity) that seems odd, or too hard, or awkward.

Well, the lovely Miss Jocelyn (I interviewed her for a Modesty Monday) started a terrific feature over at her blog magazine Feelin’ Feminine: The Challenge.

Wear only skirts/dresses for a week (seven days). Mix and match to make outfits if you don’t have enough. Try a different hairstyle each day, too, just for fun.

At the end of the week, look back and compare it to your regular way of dress. These questions of Jocelyn’s can help you evaluate your week:

• How was the experience for you?
• Any particular stories?
• Did wearing skirts rather than pants affect the way you felt?
• The way you felt about yourself?
• The way you acted?
• The way you carried yourself?
• Were you able to go about everyday activity as freely as pants?
• How did people respond?
• Were you more respected?
• Did you feel more like a lady?
• After the challenge do you desire to keep wearing skirts more regularly, or were you desperate to wear pants again?

The Challenge has been such an inspiration that it is now a regular feature, hosted at a different fan’s blog each month. For March, we’re going to be walking through our week with Simply Sarah-Anne.

How about it?

Why not accept this challange, and give it a week?

Leave a comment and let me know if you’re walking with us. And I’d love to have your thoughts (and photos?) afterwards!

Wolf has been nudging me for a while to post more about the aspects of our beliefs that are furthest from society’s norms. While these are, of course, the things most likely to stir up controversy, they are also the things that most need to be said aloud.

I hadn’t really intended to jump into one right now, but I suddenly found myself in the middle of a Facebook controvery, so I figure the least I can do is share it here…

Checking in on my Facebook feed Tuesday, I was startled to see pictures of women in bathing suits parading across the screen. Yikes!

Turns out that this feed was from… Lands’ End.

Now, I don’t simply want to “un-fan” their page, if I have a choice.

I like thier high-quality products, and great service. I buy kids’ clothes from them, as well as outerwear and accessories. I just got a package from them, in fact, with some cute dresses, tops, and tights for Miss J that I snagged during their Winter Clearance.

Cute, eh? And modest…

Anyhow, I decided that the proper thing to do was to simply let the company know how I feel, so that they can decide how to proceed.

The Facebook feed is a very intrusive form of advertising, after all.

I can choose not to go to a crowded beach. I can choose not to watch TV and see that kid of ad. I can choose not to buy the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (or Cosmo, or…).

And, even, if Lands’ End sends me an email with the subject “Summer 2010 Swimwear is Here!” I can choose to delete rather than open it…

But if they publish it on Facebook, those images pop up right before my eyes.

Unless I totally disconnect from them. As I discussed above, this means I don’t get the sale offers and such, and they lose me totally as a customer.

Maybe that’s not what they want. Certainly they could just as easily post a link to the swimwear photos, if they chose. But they have no idea that this is even an issue, I’m sure…

So, I told them.

I left this comment on the photos posted to my newsfeed. I was trying to keep it light:

Sure wishing I could receive news updates without seeing this on my home page… I know it defies the cultural norm, but in our house we try to avoid looking at women wearing nothing but underwear (and this is the same amount of coverage, kwim?).

How about a little nod to modesty?

Well, the response was rapid, violent, and offensive.

The comments (from men and women alike) suggested that I “have problems,” must live in a cave, have no business owning a computer, “need more hobbies,” and on and on.

Interestingly, there was a comment later in the thread from a Jewish gentleman who said,

Please do not send pictures of immodestly dressed ladies to my news feed. If you do it again I am dropping out of Land’s End.

…and nobody said a word to or about him. Hmmmm.

On the up side, there were some supportive folks who posted, as well as some who messaged me privately. A couple of women took the time to post comments with good explanations – which were simply ignored.

Later I posted a status update on my own feed asking my modest friends to let Lands’ End know how they felt (via the website, not by entering into the comment fray). Interestingly, even there, non-modest-dressing folks felt the need to pick up the debate.

If you would like to let Lands’ End know that they have other modest customers, you can leave a comment on their Facebook Fan Wall (no swim photos there!), or through their Corporate Feedback Form. UPDATE: You may email them directly at socialmedia@landsend.com.

Just to pre-empt some of the negative comments that will probably start showing up here, too, let me address some of the things that seem to keep cropping up in the current discussion threads:

• Why don’t I un-fan or Hide them, then just go check their page for sales and such? Well, you can say “it only takes 1 second…” but think about it, really: I’d have to maintain a list of the 20 stores I care about (or whatever). I type the first name in the search box, then click to get to their page. I read a few entries, seeing what’s new. Repeat ad nauseum. I simply do not have the time and energy to do that… And, really – what’s the point of Facebook, if I’m going to use it just like going to each store’s website every day?
• I have never suggested that Lands’ End shouldn’t have the freedom to sell (and even advertise) whatever they want. I have never suggested that you do not have the right to purchase or wear whatever you want. I am not trying to “impose my morality” on anyone – I am simply trying to provide Lands’ End some information about a segment of their current customer base, in relation to this brand new avenue of marketing. That way they can make an informed decision about how to proceed.

Sure, I know most Americans disagree with my definition of “modesty.” But I’ve got to say I find it weird that so many people are so offended by my comment… Isn’t it hyporitical to say that they have the freedom to show the pictures, but I don’t even have the freedom to make a comment about it?

Lands’ End may not choose to change, in the end, and then I will simply un-fan them and shop elsewhere, unless they happen to send a good offer to my email. It is not a “big deal” in my life.

But modesty is a big deal, and I will continue to speak up for it in public places. It is because we all sit quietly by, while having to flinch away from the racy images on highway billboards, that this kind of thing continues to escalate in our culture.

I wanted to use this Monday’s post to share with you a wonderful modest-dressing resource I recently discovered: Katie’s Mercantile.

You can “meet” the owner, Cathy, and her daughter, Katie, in a previous Modesty Monday post!

We began our modest clothing business in 1997. We had a difficult time finding clothing that met our own needs and thought perhaps other ladies had experienced similar challenges. Our first catalog “Country Clothes for Everyday Girls” offered custom made garments using the patterns we had developed for our own use.

This little business was much more successful than we ever dreamed was possible. In 2003 daughter Katie opened a retail store “Katie’s Mercantile” that offered the same clothing only ready made.

After Miss Katie became Mrs. Jeremy we closed the retail store and a neighbor put the entire inventory on the Internet

I was just tickled when I found this online store!

While sticking to a set of basics, they have a range of options from a “classic” dress to a cape-style dress, in sizes for women and girls. They also have jumpers, skirts, blouses, undergarments, nightgowns, head coverings… Even nursing clothing!

And their prices? VERY reasonable!

A lot of items are stocked, but they are also happy to make something to your specifications – being tall, I always have to have things longer, for instance.

This is *not* a paid, or even anticipated, review. I purchased a few items from Katie’s Mercantile just like any other customer, and was treated just like any other customer… Wonderfully, it turns out!

Because I was ordering nursingwear, and becase of my height/fit challenges, I emailed a few questions prior to ordering. Katie answered, and a lengthy email exchange began. She was wonderfully patient about explaining the fit of various things, the options available, and even sending pictures of an item not yet listed on the website (which turned out perfectly – see below).

So what items have I tried from there?

I have a Nursing Jumper, although it is different from the one shown. They are now doing a jumper that simply zips on the sides for easy access. If you’re like me and need a place to put your keys when juggling the kids, make sure to ask them to add pockets (which is no problem).

I also got the Nursing Nightgown, in a pretty green fabric. It’s delightful to have a nightgown like this, after making due with t-shirts all these years! I just wish the pleats were a little deeper, to provide coverage, as this is not suitable for wearing out of bed.

My order also included two headcoverings.

I got a white hanging veil:

The darts allow this to sit so nicely on the head, it stays in place beautifully!

…And a black lace “covering veil”:

I ordered this with extra length (it’s an oval, rather than a circle), and I usually wear this as my “dress up headcovering” for church.

My second order from Katie was for a slip, to wear with my jumper.

Although I’ve been wearing exclusively skirts for several years now, for some reason I have never run into this issue. All my skirts are denim, or heavy khaki, or velvety for dress, and so on… Thick fabrics that are neither clingy nor see-through.

Amazing the things you just never think about.

I did need to send one piece back for an alteration, and the Customer Service continued to be excellent – and speedy.

Thank you, Katie (and Cindy!), for this resource – it is truly a blessing to modest-dressing women!

This is the current splash-page ad from the Dockers website.

Click on the image to see it larger. Go ahead, read the whole thing… I’ll wait.

Wow! Who expected THAT?

If you agree that this is wonderful, I encourage you to tell them so (links to the Feedback for on the Levis site – their parent company).

Any company willing to speak out about gender roles deserves our support.

Today’s Modest Maiden is – Lacy

Introduction: Greetings to you in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ! My name is Lacy, and I am 16 years of age. I live on a small hobby farm in “Virginny” with my dear parents and older brother. I have so enjoyed being able to raise / have so many pets and animals around me growing up, and still now. We’ve had chickens, ducks, rabbits, guinea fowl, turkeys, cats, dogs, and now goats! Well, enough of that now, I don’t suppose you are reading this to hear all about my favorite animals!

Faith: I am a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ. Our family does not claim any denomination, but within the past several years the Lord led us out of the Independent Baptist church/movement. It is my desire as a Christian young woman to follow, please, and obey my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ in all things, dying daily to self and taking up my cross to follow Him.

Married or single? I am unmarried, and a former homeschooler. I have been homeschooled all my life, praise God for that! I have just finished up my “book education” in ‘08, and now am trying (though ever so slowly) to learn the skills of a homemaker.

How long have you been dressing modestly? Well, it’s been a couple years.. more than a couple, I guess.. I just can’t remember how long.

Can you share a little about your journey to modest dress? It was certainly a process, but then, what journey isn’t? I began slowly into modesty, first by wearing culottes, which were a great help to me for several years. Then I began wearing skirts more often and found that I greatly preferred skirts to even culottes! After that, I have always worn skirts and dresses. I have one pair of culottes that I keep in case I need them for some outdoor work, and they have come in handy a time or two.

I completely disagree with the myth that there are some things you can’t do in a skirt. Since I live on a farm, I’ve done just about everything I can think of in a skirt, including riding bikes!!

In 2007, the Lord convicted me through His word to obey the command found in 1 Corinthians 11 for covering the woman’s head whilst praying or prophesying. I now cover my head, with a flowing veil, which in turn covers the majority of my long hair.

My Mom, actually, had started covering a couple months before I did (this wasn’t something we grew up doing), then the Lord convicted my heart to obey Him (and, being a Christian, once given the light to this matter, I really didn’t have any other option but to obey), so I began to make my journey into headcovering!

The Lord is gently leading us further along on the narrow way, a path which many are unwilling to travel because of the hardships a Christian must endure; being an outcast from friends & churches, ignored by family, called names, and even stared at, yet even these things are a small price to pay compared to what our Saviour did for us!

Do you blog? Truth be told, I actually have three blogs which I try to keep up with, though only one is my personal blog, one which I have entitled “A Godly Maiden”. There is where I share about our family, our life here at the farm, and our beliefs. Thy Word Forever is my Scripture graphics project blog, where I post graphics for blogs and computer wallpapers that have Bible verses on them, and Stablishing Hearts is a magazine type thing that my friend and I have started together.

Today’s Modest Maiden is – Miss Jocelyn

Her wonderful blog is A Pondering Heart.

Faith: I’m continually amazed at how Yahweh reveals things when you are truly seeking. It has been such a blessing to be to be able to redefine and reestablish my beliefs again and again through Scripture. I am a Hebrew – I follow Yahweh, the God of Avraham, Yitz’chak, and Ya’akov. I am saved through the sacrifice of his son, Yahushua the Mashiyach, and am led by the Holy Spirit. I seek to live my life exactly as Yahushua did, on the narrow path, by observing Torah, celebrating the Scriptural feasts, holding to the 7th day Shabbat, and honouring the Father in all things.

Married or Single? I am single, currently completing my education, furthering my domestic skills through everyday life, and serving the Father in my community until I can further serve in marriage and motherhood.

How long have you been dressing modestly? We’ve always made sure we were dressed respectfully, but it wasn’t until the last few years that we’ve sought out scriptural femininity and modesty. Yahweh is still showing and guiding us in this area.

Can you share a little about your journey to modest dress? Yahweh used blogging to show me the value of modesty and femininity and allowed me to dig deeper into the Scriptures because of all the differing opinions I saw online.

A great modest dressing resource? In June of 2008 I founded the Feelin’ Feminine site which is designed to encourage, inspire, and challenge ladies to rediscover the treasure of dressing a feminine manner. Though the site focuses mainly on femininity, modesty is also a big part of virtuous womanhood and I’ve tried to make it a resource for these types of topics.

I really haven’t found anywhere else I could recommend to others for modest dress – for either too much worldliness in the fashion or seductive models, though in modest dress. [Ed. note: One of my pet peeves, too!]

I just adore this photo… I’d like you take special note of Miss Jocelyn laying flooring, if you’re one of those people who feels that you just can’t do everything you need to do while wearing a skirt.

Today’s Modesty Monday topic is a little “test” you can do to see if an outfit is modest.

Obviously, there are a lot of areas where people’s standards will differ with regards to what is modest – just how long a sleeve, just how low a neckline, etc.

But I like this little guideline because it is so basic.

I have seen such a test in seveal modesty resources – most recently in this terrific little book:

Think of the children’s rhyme

Head
and Shoulders
Knees
and Toes

So now, stand in front of a mirror and…

Put you hands on your HEAD

Does your waist show (front or back)?

Put your hands on your SHOULDERS

Check that your shoulders are covered, and your neckline is not too low.

Look at your KNEES

They should be covered.

Okay, now put your hands on your KNEES

Can you see down the front of your top to your undergarmets, chest, or even *gasp* your belly button? Yikes!

Bend over and touch your TOES

Does your back show?

Pretty good, eh?

Here’s another couple of quick-checks that I think would save women a lot of (presumably) inadvertant immodesty.

• Press your shirt to your breastbone (in the center of your chest). If it springs back out like a tramploine when you let go, it is too tight.
• Button-down shirt? Put your hands at your waist and spread your elbows back like “chicken wings.” Stand sideways and see if you can see into your shirt because it is creating big gaps between the buttons.

I’ll save my further thoughts on guidelines for modest apparel for another day. I think these are pretty universal, while we will soonbe moving into the disputed territories…

Today’s Modest Matron is – Cindy

• I’m 52 years old, and married to a farmer
• We are a conservative Christian family with no denominational affiliation
• I stay at home full time and help my husband on the farm. I also own Katie’s Mercantile, a modest clothing business that I run from our home.
• I have 3 adult children, 2 daughters Rebecca and Katie and 1 son Benjamin. I also have a lovely daughter in law Emily, a big strong farmer son in law Jeremy and a delightful granddaughter Alexis. Our families don’t get smaller as our children grow up they get bigger!!

I guess I was raised dressing modestly not because it was Scriptural but because when I was young girls dressed like girls and boys dressed like boys. I was in High School before NY changed its educations Laws and allowed girls to wear pants to school!

It was when my daughters were growing up that I really began to look at “why” I preferred more modest apparel for them and myself. The scriptures are quite clear that ladies dress modestly but they also address our inward appearance. The most modest outer garment needs a meek and quiet, yielded spirit INSIDE to be pleasing to the Lord.

As I began searching for clothing for myself and my daughters I didn’t find what I wanted in the local stores. Is anyone surprised?? I had always loved to sew, so my daughters and I drew pictures of what we wanted, transferred that to patterns and soon we had a few basic, practical styles that we enjoyed wearing.

Then people began to ask us where we got our clothes and in time Katie’s Mercantile was in business.

Now we have 20 seamstresses who help keep us stocked in those same basic styles and a few more that we have added over the years. We view the Mercantile as a ministry as well as a business. We try and keep our prices affordable and our customer service friendly.

Here’s her lovely – modest – daughter, and the store’s namesake, Katie:

I “met” Cindy and Katie when a friend recommended their store and I ordered some wonderful things… Look for a review to follow soon!

Today’s Modest Matron is Rachel!

I’d like to introduce you to Rachel Davis.

Rachel is the owner of Holy Hillbilly Creations, a wonderful website of handcrafted items – including modest clothing for women, girls… and dolls!

Religious affiliation: Roman Catholic

Married? Single? Kids? I am first and foremost a wife, mother and homemaker. We also homeschool, and both my husband and I are self-employed. We have two beautiful children, a daughter that’s 13, and a son that’s 9 (will be ten in Nov). Wow! Where does the time go?

[As she does with many things, Rachel made her daughter's dress for Easter '08, shown in these photos. Easter '09 was a celebration of survival (see below), and no pictures were taken in the chaos.]

How long have you been dressing modestly? Well, I certainly wasn’t raised that way… the things I wore growing up… hmmm! I guess we started dressing modestly about 3 years ago.

Can you share a little about your journey to modest dress?

It’s honestly been a difficult journey at times. We are often mistaken for Pentecostals, as people like to make assumptions. Modest dress isn’t accepted well around here… so I have gotten a lot of comments on how I’m being prudish, old-fashioned, etc. I have learned to ignore the harsh comments, as my heart tells me God is pleased with our choices.

At the same time, God has also helped me find moderation in modesty. A good example would be when we go to collect firewood for our woodstove… A dress simply does not work well in the woods – baggy sweats or loose jeans work a LOT better. Modesty is in our hearts, and it doesn’t always mean wearing a dress… as long as what we wear doesn’t draw attention to our bodies in the wrong way.

[Ed Note: Although I agree whole-heartedly that modesty is an attitude, I do disagree about skirts' lack of practicality. Our foremothers settled this country in long, full skirts... But that's a post for another day!]

Roller Skating!

Where can we find out more about you?

I have a website that I am slowly getting restocked after losing all my inventory: Holy Hillbilly Creations.

I also have 2 blogs:

• Modesty: The Forgotten Virtue
• Holy Hillbilly Creations Blog

Rachel and her family lost their home in a tornado in April. God had them all secured away in the church basement at the time, so nobody was hurt. Go check out her blog for the story of rebuilding from the ground up, and be sure to visit her store – you’ll be blessed, and you can help them out, too!