Archive for the ‘Christian Walk’ Category

We only have one vehicle, so Wolf rides the bus/train/bus to get to and from work. Last week he came home with an alarming story, and the cell phone picture to prove it.

Dadeland Station is a transit hub. It is the South end of the train line, and a stop for all the area busses.

As he walked into the lobby one morning, he was greeted by an enormous round decal in the center of the floor – a swimming pool. And there, underfoot, life-sized or better, was a woman floating on a raft in a teeny bikini.

To see for yourself, you can View the Picture (naturally, this comes with my advisory that it is an immodest image).

I am aware that “most people” wouldn’t be offended by the picutre, which they would probably argue is entirely non-sexual. (Don’t get me started on how far society has slipped down the slope of accepting indecency!)

But I find it appaling that such a thing would be so rudely thrust “in your face” in a government agency location.

It is wholly unacceptable for the government to be so avidly promoting something which offends the morals and “strongly held religious beliefs” of a sizeable segment of the population.

Not to mention those people who have other issues:

• Men and boys trying to control their hormones (lust)
• Women who feel lowered self-esteem from the unfair comparison
• Those who might be triggered in their struggle with PTSD from past abuse
• “Sex addicts”
• Mothers who don’t feel it’s appropriate for the children they have with them
• People who find it disrespectful to be stepping all over a lady
• And on and on…

Yes, images like this (sadly) are “everywhere” today, but I find two main differences here.

One is the lack of ability to “opt out.”

Magazines and catalogs we can choose to keep out of our lives. I certainly don’t get lingerie catalogs, but I also don’t even get Lands’ End or other catalogs with swimwear (remember the Lands End Facebook debacle?).

Movies and TV we can choose not to watch. Billboards we have to look the other way.

But what about this?

In the lobby of the train station – a portal through which people must pass. And underfoot, where they must look at it at least somewhat (or risk tripping because they aren’t watching where they are going!).

This is far more… invasive? intrusive? forced upon you?

The second, touched upon above, is the government involvement.

By placing this ad in a County facility, the government is endorsing, sponsoring, and profiting from (a) immodesty and immorality, and (b) the discomfort and alienation of a lot of people.

Will you join me in letting them know this should be removed?

Mayor Carlos Alvarez
mayor (at) miamidade.gov

Michael De Cossio
Chief, Transit Advertising & Media Relations
Mike1 (at) miamidade.gov

(Modesty disclaimer – photos of shirtless young men are used to illustrate this story, below)

Political Correctness is so ridiculous, I continue to be amazed.

I do “mystery shopping” from time to time. It earns me a few dollars, or free stuff, and it’s flexible…

But filling out the survey forms is getting harder and harder.

Naturally, you are expected to identify the employee with whom you interact during your visit. Sometimes the name is enough, but if you can’t get the name (and sometimes even if you do) they want a description.

Except, as it turns out, you are strictly prohibited from discussing certain attributes that could be politically incorrect or sensitive.

I cannot mention a person’s race or skin color.

While I understand that this can be used in an offensive way, it is also true that it is a very useful means of identifying someone out of a small pool of choices (such as the employees who were working at a given time).

I cannot mention a person’s weight or size.

Again, I know that you can insult someone by labeling them as “fat”… But, again, differentiating between a stocky individual and a very thin individual can be very useful.

It got me to thinking…

If I were primarily concerned with political correctness, I would describe Nick as:

Young man, about 6′ tall, dark curly hair.

Hmmm. Not much more I can say, right?

But, based on that, my son could be this guy:

Or, just as easily, this guy:

Wouldn’t it make more sense to be accurate?

My son is a stocky, very fair skinned person.

The other young man pictured is very thin, and darker skinned.

Is that cruel, insulting, or unfair?

No. It’s simply the truth.

As Christians, we need to be committed to speaking the truth in love. All the time.

…and I’m not taking the Lord’s name lightly when I say that!

Let me back up just a tad, so you know what’s happening:

As I mentioned, Wolf’s dad was recently diagnosed (re-)diagnosed with lung cancer. (To get more back story there, search Wolf’s posts or “cancer” over at Life on the Road).

Wolf was anxious to see his father, and just be with him in person. He has only been up there twice, and briefly, since we came to Florida two-and-a-half years ago. Tom’s recovery from throat cancer treatment has been slow, painful, and fraught with setbacks. We have nervously wondered from time to time if he had enough fight left in him to keep working through it.

Since we’ve been isolated here in Florida, Tom has also never met his new grandson.

So… We are now in Mississippi for a four day visit (plus two days’ driving on either end). This was a challenge to accomplish, on a lot of levels.

Challenge #1 – The Money (First Verse)

How could we even begin to consider a trip that would be hundreds of dollars in gas, plus hotels and food, on top of Wolf having to take time off work?

We essentially can’t take the RV because of the logistical situation of our current parking location. It would also have made our gas costs a lot higher and the trip a lot slower, so we quickly ruled it out.

So we started stepping forward in faith.

Wolf talked to his employer, St. Stephen’s Episcopal Day School and they were very gracious. Even though he is a fairly new, low-ranking, hourly employee, they said he was entitled to nine days of paid personal leave. He scheduled the time (a week out), and that was that. It was everything you might hope for, but so rarely encounter, even from a “Christian” business.

Help also came from unlikely places. A relative who Wolf talked to about the situation agreed that it was important for us to go, and declared that they were putting a check in the mail. That generous gift would be enough to cover our hotel and gas for the whole trip.

It didn’t seem feasible to rule out eating out entirely, but we worked diligently to cut the costs. We made sure our hotel room had a microwave and a fridge, and we packed well: Milk, bread, peanut butter, instant oatmeal, sandwich fixins, string cheese, yogurt… (We are once again thankful we invested some time ago in a Coleman cooler that can heat or cool on the road!)

Challenge #2 – Nick’s School

Apparently, taking Nick out of school for six days would have severe repercussions.

Hindsight is 20/20, but the problem wouldn’t exist except that Nick already has 5 absences from the first half of the year (more in some classes, from bad appearances in pep rallies and so forth). These were all illness absences, but are on the record-book as “unexcused” because he failed to turn in the notes I wrote. This can’t be corrected retro-actively, as such notes must be filed within three days of the student’s return.

So when we picked our dates, I emailed all of Nick’s teachers, plus his counselor, informing them of the planned absence and asking that they provide his work so that he could keep up while we were gone.

The teachers were no problem. But I soon learned that any student with more than 10 unexcused absances for the year would not be able to receive their final grades and credit for the year… and that this would be considered an unexcused absence since Nick was not ill and there was not a death.

Between a local teacher friend on Facebook and talking with the counselor, I determined that the absence could be approved as an excused absence. I would need to talk to the Assistant Principal in charge of such things – Mr. Evans. Mr. Evans (like most APs apparently) is overworked, and I had no luck reaching him by email or phone, or even getting in touch with someone to make me an appointment to see him.

So on Monday (T Minus 2 Days) I drove Nick to school, then went and sat in the office.

Mr. Evans came in from his morning “traffic cop” duties, and agreed to speak to me for a moment before the appointment he had waiting (how did she get an appointment??). In about 30 seconds he confirmed that he had read my email and understood the situation, I allayed his fears about Nick being missing from an important District count (since he would be present Monday and Tuesday), and he said the absence would be approved as excused.

Whew!

I thought we wee home free, until I got a call from the counselor later in the day. She told me that was only half the battle.

The school has the authority to designate the absence as excused or unexcused. But there is an additional District rule stating that students with more than 10 absences regardless of whether they are excused are not permitted to participate in extra-curricular activities. For Nick this would mean taking an “F” for not participating in several remaining Concert Band performances.

We can still get it worked out, but this one is out of my hands. His counselor is sending in an appeal to the District, and she assures me that she has had all previously-filed appeals approved.

It is left unfinished, but we’re trusting.

Challenge #3 – The Money (Second Verse)

To keep the expenses low, we were trying to find the cheapest hotel room we could… But it’s not as easy as it sounds.

With a family of five, we have demanding requirements. For one night on the road we can manage in two double beds, but for a five-night stay it’s just not workable (not to mention, in many cases, not allowed by code).

Wolf spent a good while in frustrated online searching.

He got different rates and options depending on whether he searched through Expedia, or Yahoo, or accessed the hotels’ sites directly. He finally thought he had it pinned down, but when he called to make the reservation they said they did not offer roll-away beds (even though the site listed them, complete with price).

Finally, we got a reservation at a second place. It had some dubious reviews, but all were more than a year old. The next closest hotel in price was almost double, so we were really hoping this one would work.

We arrived in Columbus, Mississippi on a cold, rainy afternoon. We sent up a last little prayer as Wolf went to check in, and we had our first look at the room.

It was… fine. Small, as in “where the heck do they think we’re going to put a roll-away in here?”, somewhat run-down, but clean and workable.

Looking out the front door and window we could see the Lobby… and the Bar & Grill. Uh-oh.

Wolf went to the office and asked them about the bar noise. The clerk confirmed that there was going to be some noise from patrons, as well as a DJ, until 2 am nightly, in any of the rooms facing the main courtyard.

She gave him the key to a room on the backside of the building, and we went to check it out.

It was essentially identical to the room on the front side… except that it smelled like cigarette smoke. It had a non-smoking placard on the door, but there was an ashtray in it, and the nauseating smell.

Since this hasn’t come up on the blog before, let me digress just a tad. I don’t want to take away a persn’s freedom to smoke if they want to – although I certainly believe that it is a wrong thing to do to your body as a temple. But I don’t want to be exposed to the health risks of second-hand smoke, and I definately don’t want my kids to be. And the biggest problem is that cigarette smoke is a quick and sure trigger for my migraines.

So, no way on the smoking room.

This time we all trooped back to the office, pleading for another option. She gave us another key.

This room is a suite. It has a living room, doubling the overall space of the room, and a sleeper sofa provides a full-sized alternative to a roll-away bed.

…and the clerk gave it to us for the price we had already paid.

Thank God!

Without His provision, this trip would clearly have been impossible… Several times over.

I’m glad we serve such a loving Father!

Wolf has been nudging me for a while to post more about the aspects of our beliefs that are furthest from society’s norms. While these are, of course, the things most likely to stir up controversy, they are also the things that most need to be said aloud.

I hadn’t really intended to jump into one right now, but I suddenly found myself in the middle of a Facebook controvery, so I figure the least I can do is share it here…

Checking in on my Facebook feed Tuesday, I was startled to see pictures of women in bathing suits parading across the screen. Yikes!

Turns out that this feed was from… Lands’ End.

Now, I don’t simply want to “un-fan” their page, if I have a choice.

I like thier high-quality products, and great service. I buy kids’ clothes from them, as well as outerwear and accessories. I just got a package from them, in fact, with some cute dresses, tops, and tights for Miss J that I snagged during their Winter Clearance.

Cute, eh? And modest…

Anyhow, I decided that the proper thing to do was to simply let the company know how I feel, so that they can decide how to proceed.

The Facebook feed is a very intrusive form of advertising, after all.

I can choose not to go to a crowded beach. I can choose not to watch TV and see that kid of ad. I can choose not to buy the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (or Cosmo, or…).

And, even, if Lands’ End sends me an email with the subject “Summer 2010 Swimwear is Here!” I can choose to delete rather than open it…

But if they publish it on Facebook, those images pop up right before my eyes.

Unless I totally disconnect from them. As I discussed above, this means I don’t get the sale offers and such, and they lose me totally as a customer.

Maybe that’s not what they want. Certainly they could just as easily post a link to the swimwear photos, if they chose. But they have no idea that this is even an issue, I’m sure…

So, I told them.

I left this comment on the photos posted to my newsfeed. I was trying to keep it light:

Sure wishing I could receive news updates without seeing this on my home page… I know it defies the cultural norm, but in our house we try to avoid looking at women wearing nothing but underwear (and this is the same amount of coverage, kwim?).

How about a little nod to modesty?

Well, the response was rapid, violent, and offensive.

The comments (from men and women alike) suggested that I “have problems,” must live in a cave, have no business owning a computer, “need more hobbies,” and on and on.

Interestingly, there was a comment later in the thread from a Jewish gentleman who said,

Please do not send pictures of immodestly dressed ladies to my news feed. If you do it again I am dropping out of Land’s End.

…and nobody said a word to or about him. Hmmmm.

On the up side, there were some supportive folks who posted, as well as some who messaged me privately. A couple of women took the time to post comments with good explanations – which were simply ignored.

Later I posted a status update on my own feed asking my modest friends to let Lands’ End know how they felt (via the website, not by entering into the comment fray). Interestingly, even there, non-modest-dressing folks felt the need to pick up the debate.

If you would like to let Lands’ End know that they have other modest customers, you can leave a comment on their Facebook Fan Wall (no swim photos there!), or through their Corporate Feedback Form. UPDATE: You may email them directly at socialmedia@landsend.com.

Just to pre-empt some of the negative comments that will probably start showing up here, too, let me address some of the things that seem to keep cropping up in the current discussion threads:

• Why don’t I un-fan or Hide them, then just go check their page for sales and such? Well, you can say “it only takes 1 second…” but think about it, really: I’d have to maintain a list of the 20 stores I care about (or whatever). I type the first name in the search box, then click to get to their page. I read a few entries, seeing what’s new. Repeat ad nauseum. I simply do not have the time and energy to do that… And, really – what’s the point of Facebook, if I’m going to use it just like going to each store’s website every day?
• I have never suggested that Lands’ End shouldn’t have the freedom to sell (and even advertise) whatever they want. I have never suggested that you do not have the right to purchase or wear whatever you want. I am not trying to “impose my morality” on anyone – I am simply trying to provide Lands’ End some information about a segment of their current customer base, in relation to this brand new avenue of marketing. That way they can make an informed decision about how to proceed.

Sure, I know most Americans disagree with my definition of “modesty.” But I’ve got to say I find it weird that so many people are so offended by my comment… Isn’t it hyporitical to say that they have the freedom to show the pictures, but I don’t even have the freedom to make a comment about it?

Lands’ End may not choose to change, in the end, and then I will simply un-fan them and shop elsewhere, unless they happen to send a good offer to my email. It is not a “big deal” in my life.

But modesty is a big deal, and I will continue to speak up for it in public places. It is because we all sit quietly by, while having to flinch away from the racy images on highway billboards, that this kind of thing continues to escalate in our culture.

We were so blessed this past week by the “Thirst” Revival Summit, presented by a team from Life Action Ministries.

I have a LOT I want to talk about from these meetings, but of course I’m going to be bringing it to you in bite-sized pieces.

Our speaker was Ryan Loveing, and I want to share a neat illustration he gave us.

Ryan asked for anyone who had been given M&M’s by Ben (another team member) during the break to stand up. This turned out to be about two dozen folks.

Then he asked for anyone who had been given M&M’s by one of those people to raise their hand. I think there were two.

Half-joking, he pointed out that they had all been very selfish with their treasures. (And, half-joking, asked if they were mad at Ben for setting them up!)

On stage with him, he had the rest of one of the big bulk bags of M&M’s – still a pound or so of them in there. He carried it around with him and shook it in illustration as he talked.

Next he asked who in the audience was crazy about M&M’s. Who would choose them over any other snack or treat, who just craved them, and hadn’t had any in a while…

Of those with their hands raised, he selected a teenage girl and asked he to come up to the front.

Asking her name, he then proceeded to PRAY FOR HER!

Dear Lord, please bless Jasmine. She loves M&M’s so much, I ask you to please bless her with M&M’s. In Your power, Father, as you love and care for your precious daughter, bring her the desire of her heart – M&M’s.
Amen.

Then he asked her to sit down.

After a moment of confusion, he helped those slow on the uptake. He smiled, raised his eyebrows inquiringly, and shook the bag of M&M’s.

How many people do this every day?

How often to we, the church, just PRAY for someone – when we have the resources to meet their need?

(Hear me, I’m not by any strech – as Ryan wasn’t – belittling prayer. This is about another factor in the equation, though).

“Resources” here is a lot of things…

Money, obviously, and what everyone naturally thinks of.

Not only tithing to the church, but also giving some extra grocery money to that family in need with the husband unemployed, donating a little something extra for Haiti relief, or putting something in the Love Offering for the revival team that was such a blessing.

But there are also the resources of your time and talents.

The church nursery is always shorthanded, and looking for folks to sacrifice one Sunday a month in service. Deacons and others are needed to go visit and pray with the elderly and infirm who can’t get to church services (even bringing them the Lord’s Supper! So beautiful!). I’ve heard of groups getting together and going to clean up the yard of someone who just had surgery, or paint the house of an elderly shut-in. Could you use your specific skills to help someone? Show that new homeschooling mom how to access the local online library resources? Help a neighbor fix the audio driver on their computer? Teach a new mama to sew dresses for her little girl?

It all belongs to God.

My prayer is that He will coninue to remind me to hold it loosely, and be a good steward by allowing it to bless others.

…

This is similar in theme to one of my favorite songs, by one of my favorite groups. Here is Casting Crowns’ If We Are the Body, with a video that a church did as a ministry project.

I try to live with an “attitude of gratitude” all the time, but it never hurts to set aside some time to focus on being thankful. The beginning of a new year seems like an ideal time to take stock – even if I don’t believe that an artifical date for creating “resolutions” makes any sense.

We are going through a lot of stress and upheaval in our lives right now, and it’s easy to get bogged down in all the “junk.”

But I really do have so very much to be thankful for. Just for starters:

• A loving Savior who died to redeem me
• A wonderful husband who serves God
• Three beautiful, intelligent, loving children
• The good health that all of us enjoy (whatever trials we have in this area, they are so small in the grand scheme…)
• A roof over our head, and food on the table (again, what is “struggling” to us is still plenty)
• The wonderful grandparents (biological, in-law, and “adopted”) my kids have (while missing my dad!)
• Discovering a community of like-minded believers online, so we aren’t quite so isolated in our walk

There are many others, naturally… but a lot of things are personal to me/us, or they relate to other people/situations who we have elected not to discuss in a public venue. Obviously, we all have such a list.

All during November, I taught a cute little echo song to my Mission Friends class on Wednesday nights (in the curriculum for Thanksgiving, obviously). It’s sung to the tune of “Are You Sleeping?” (Frère Jacques):

We are thankful (we are thankful)
For so much (for so much)
Thank you, God, for *insert item of your choice* (thank you, God, for *item*)
Thank you, God. (Thank you, God)

We started out with “missionaries” in the blank, since that’s the class theme, but I asked the kids to name things they were thankful for, and got some adorable responses.

• Jesus
• The Bible
• Church
• Everyone in the world
• Pets / Animals
• Fingers / Teeth / Hair / etc.
• Food / Apples / etc.
• Mommies & Daddies

I don’t hold a tremendous amount of optimism for things like the economy in 2010, since the socialist agenda of the administration will continue…

But I am thankful that, at the end of the day, God is on the throne, and He will work all things for our good!

This is the current splash-page ad from the Dockers website.

Click on the image to see it larger. Go ahead, read the whole thing… I’ll wait.

Wow! Who expected THAT?

If you agree that this is wonderful, I encourage you to tell them so (links to the Feedback for on the Levis site – their parent company).

Any company willing to speak out about gender roles deserves our support.

…a secular saying that I much prefer to the also-common, “No good deed goes unpunished.”

The reason we do the right thing should never be because of the expectation of reward… But the rewards sure are nice!

Let me strart with one older example of good character shining through.

We lived in Northern Arizona for three years, and were converting and fixing up an old building. We had an account at the local hardware store, and Wolf was there frequently.

Naturally, over the course of time, he had the opportunity to deal fairly with merchandise issues, cashier errors, account payments, and everything else.

So one day he walked in with an item he needed to return. A new employee was at the register, and informed him that she could not take the return without a receipt – since after all, he could have bought it somewhere else.

The other cashier turned to her and said it was okay, and she should go ahead.

“Why?” the first cashier naturally asked.

Because it’s Wolf.

Enough said!

Lately, we’ve had some other real blessings illustrate this fact.

Wolf and Nick have gone down a few times to volunteer at our local Angel Food distribution site. Being a sociable guy, Wolf has naturally talked to everyone and made friends.

A couple of weeks ago, one of the organizers at the Angel Food site called Wolf. She said there was a job opening at the school where she worked, and she had asked the hiring manager to hold off his decision until he could interview Wolf.

Wolf trekked up and talked to the man on a Friday, and later recounted that it was more like a chat about what the job had to offer than an interview about Wolf’s qualifications.

He was supposed to return Tuesday or Wednesday for a follow-up interview with the administration. But on Monday the manager called and asked if he could come in right away and start working.

The rest, as they say, is history.

(Yeah, it’s a complicated story in other aspect of our life, but that’s a separate post…)

Don’t miss the point here:

Wolf was essentially hired for a job sight-unseen, based on a referral from a brand-new friend he met while serving as a volunteer at a Christian charity organization.

Wow!

Now, because of this job transition, we will be living full-time in our RV for while.

(Oh yeah, here’s another bonus: the other organizer from the Angel Food site knows a pastor who agreed to let us park at the full RV hookups they put in at the back of their church lot!)

We have cats. A lot of them. Okay, one “old lady” and three big fat “kids” who still think they’re kittens even though they’re over two years old now.

The “babies” were heroically rescued on nearly our very first day in Florida.
Previously, we went on the road for seven months (before R.T. was born) with two kids and two “old ladies”. They had a litter box in the bathroom, and we worked it out… But with FOUR cats, and three of them energetic youngsters?

We seriously considered finding them a home.

This just felt totally wrong to me. I felt it was not the right solution, since they were clearly placed in our care and stewardship by God. And Jewel, in particular, is very attached to them – especially her cat, Piggy.

After some iterations of cat runs, cat doors, and litter removal options, Wolf hit on a plan to build a little “cat room” that would fit up against the RV and be accessed through a cat door in the rear door. Further debate about cleaning cat boxes and people-sized access evolved it into a sort of full-sized shed.

So, because we wanted to do the right thing for our kids and cats, we now have a lot of extra storage space.

We will be able to put our existing chest freezer in there, and even a washer and dryer!!

That left my biggest concern about RV living with three kids as refrigerator space.

We shopped little fridges at Home Depot, just to see what was out there. Maybe we could start saving up for one, or find one used, right?

They come in a couple of sizes, not a lot of options… But they all have the silly little “freezer” area that never gets cold enough, and is only big enough for ice cube trays anyway.

Wouldn’t it be nice, we said, if there was one that was just a fridge?

But oh, well, we can’t afford one, anyway…

The next time we wre at Home Depot for supplies, it was a different store, so we decided to stop by and look at their mini-fridge selection.

About the same.

Wolf reiterated his complaint that the little pseudo-freezer was just a waste of space.

Then, suddenly, we noticed one dusty fridge shoved to the back. Pulling it out, we saw… It was a tad bigger capacity than those others – and had no freezer compartment! WOW!

No shelf tag; it was an orphan. Hmmmm…

Wolf went off to find an employee, but in the meantime Nick and I found a clearance tag stuck on it. The tag said it was marked down to $147 – less than the smallest of the other “regular” models!

It was still money we weren’t budgeting for that, but we decided it was put there for us, and we would be foolish to pass it by.

At the register, the cashier was confused. She scanned it in, and it came up with a price of $0.01!

She called a supervisor over.

The supervisor looked things over and said, “Well, I can’t sell it to you for $0.01.”

No surprise there.

But I can let you have it for ten bucks.

“Are you serious?” I couldn’t help asking.

She was.

The item was discontinued, and had already been zeroed out of their system as having been sent back to the manufacturer. It might have been a recall, she said, there was no way of knowing – so she wasn’t supposed to sell it to us.

But instead, she was offering it to us for $10.

We managed to wait until we were out of the store to jump up and down, shout for joy, weep, and praise the Lord.

For $10, and kindness to animals, my biggest RV living challenge is solved.

God is good.

…I mean, that’s self-evident, right?

But let me tell you what I mean by that.

God should be the highest priority in our life, no question.

Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, coined the phrase that sums it up, which has been a mantra for the whole company for years now:

• God First
• Family Second
• Career Third

So what’s the problem?

The problem is, there’s no “church” place on that list.

Since it’s not spelled out, and we clearly realize that serving is important, people seem to put church up there on the top line – it’s church FOR GOD, after all, right?

Then it follows that anything you do for CHURCH is done for GOD, and therefore is more important than…

Your family.

Well, hmmmmmm….

You don’t have to know me any too well to know how I feel about that little bit of false logic.

It’s (sadly) common enough to see a pastor pulled in so many directions that he neglects his family. Sometimes they may realize it along the way, sometimes not. Is that the real reason there’s a whole identifiable label we put on “PKs” (pastor’s kids)?

Our pastor at Wayside told a vivid story about this just a couple of weeks ago:

Over the summer there was one week when the schedule was just crazy. With several big events coming up, there were tons of extra meetings, including late into the evening. Pastor lives a ways from church, as well, so it all combined to be several long days in a row – he left the house before his kids (1 and 3) woke up, and didn’t get home until after they were in bed.

The next day mom was getting them ready to take dinner up and meet him for a visit between meetings. His son (the three year-old) said he didn’t want to go see Daddy. When she pressed him to find out what was going on, he declared, “Daddy doesn’t love us.”

Wow. That fast.

Being a genuinely good person, as well as a wonderful pastor, he promptly reorganized things to have time with his children.

But it’s not just pastors!

Unfortunately, not all of the hundreds of people who fill the pews on Sunday come in to teach a children’s class on Wednesday, or set up for the bake sale on Saturday. So there is a core group of dedicated people who end up giving a lot…

Maybe sometimes too much?

It makes me sad to see them volunteering to serve, when meanwhile their own overtired, ill, or just needy child is shuffled off into the nursery.

It makes me sad to hear what’s “between the lines” when a spouse talks about how much the volunteer is gone, the kids missing them, the struggle to get them all through an illness – or just bedtime…

Yes, we serve God when we serve at church.

But we must serve God first at home.

Ephesians 5 tells husbands not once but twice to love their wives as themselves.

In I Corinthians 7, Paul points out that single people are in many ways better suited for service to the church… Because, naturally, those who are married are [should be] concerned about pleasing their spouse.

The Lord has specifically charged us with taking care of our family, and raising our children in His ways.

Anything that pulls us away from that is wrong.

Anything.

Because God wouldn’t.

Church is not God.

Jewel attends Mission Friends on Wednesday nights at church, right after the Children’s Choir rehearses. She really enjoys her class.

Her teacher, “Ms. Elizabeth” (have I mentioned my frustration with children’s casual address of adults?), is wonderful… but now on an extended leave of absence. She also teaches preschool, and is taking a continuing education course that runs through December.

I didn’t find this out until the first week she was gone – two classes ago, when I noticed one of the Children’s Ministry staffers and one of the youth workers scrambling around in the supply cupboard, trying to put a lesson together.

Gritting my teeth, I emailed the Director and offered to take the class… as long as we could work out a few things:

• Wolf, R.T. and I will be team teaching. As much as I want to help Jewel and the big kids, I won’t do it at R.T.’s expense.
• We will be adding a Bible Verse memorization program, which Mission Friends does not have.
• The Director decided it was time to take the overdue step of splitting up the class. I will have a smaller group, and only 4’s and 5’s. (The 3’s will go into a younger class, to which they will add the 2’s that were in nursery care).

By the time everything was settled it was Wendesday afternoon, and suddenly I was the one scrambling around trying to put a lesson together at the last minute.

So my first session as Mission Friends teacher was frought with challenges.

• I was uneasy because I didn’t have everything well-prepared, well in advance. This just goes totally against my nature.
• The kids seemed to be unaware that Ms. Elizabeth was not going to be there, and were extra goofy and rowdy with a “substitute”.
• I am not called or gifted in the area of teaching kids. A formal classroom setting with a group of same-age kids is a world apart from educating your own children at home.
• The “Mission Friends” curriculum would not be my choice. It lacks a memorization component, which I think is essential. I also think (and watching thm last week reinforced this) that at this age kids need more emphasis on loving one another, obeying, Jesus loves me, and helping in tangible local ways… not hearing about strange people (the missionaries!) in strange places – abstract concepts that aren’t really getting through.

BUT…

And of course, it’s a biggie.

There is nobody else.

If I/we don’t take the class, they will struggle through the next nine weeks with an assortment of the teenagers paid as nursery help trying to make it up as they go.

I’m working on the theory that

God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.

I hope this holds true even if I am only “called” by necessity, rather than a spiritual calling.

This week will be better…

• Scripture memory chart laid out
• “Classroom Rules” chart prepared
• Craft and snacks arranged and prepped
• No lag time for bored kids to drift off

Pray for me!