Training Up Girls’ Wardrobes
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
In addition to the usual application of this verse, I believe very strongly that this is something we ought to bear in mind as we dress our little girls.
Too often I hear from parents that they don’t necessarily think that what their daughters wear is ideal, but that they don’t have any choice since those styles are all that’s available at WalMart, at the mall, or wherever they usually shop.
That makes me angry, and sad, and frustrated… Poor Jesus, sitting up there looking down on us.
We should be willing to give our lives for our convictions, but in the end we’re not even willing to shop a little longer, spend a little more, or learn sew a little, if that’s what it takes to guard our daughters’ purity.
There are clothes today being marketed to little girls that not that long ago would only have been considered appropriate for grown women.
And there are clothes today being marketed to little girls that not that long ago would have been considered inappropriate for anyone outside of “the world’s oldest profession.”
(I’m not even going to get into the issue of bathing suits here, as that is another topic in its own right, and a deserves a post all its own.)
What do we think our little girls are learning, when we dress them, or allow them to dress, in clothes that reveal or emphasize parts of their body that are “private”?
What about this top, which I recently received in a box of swapped clothes for Jewel:
Sure, the sleeved sweater top layer covers the shoulders, solving the tank-top immodesty problem… But why does a six year-old need to have something tied across, emphasizing her breasts? Again, remember that although she doesn’t have any mass there yet, we’re training her about how ladies dress.
Would you wear that?
Yes, I realize that this top would not be looked at twice by most folks in our society today, whether worn by a female age 35, age 15, or age 5.
But, like the old Hebrew National hot dog commercial, we’re supposed to be answering to a Higher Authority.
If we don’t train our daughters in modest dress from the beginning, but rather dress them in the same clothes as the rest of the world buys at WalMart, why are surprised when our teenage daughters want to dress in clothes that are designed to be seductive – the same ones the rest of the world buys at WalMart?
Nothing warms my heart like hearing my five year-old daughter lean over and whisper in my ear that the lady who we just passed in the grocery store isn’t dressed modestly!
Amen!! I am saddened daily by the immodest clothing that around. We are a big tourist town, so even more so down here. I am saddened by the young ladies who feel they need to dress in this way, especially at Mass. Why do they feel their dress is appropriate to greet Our Lord and Savior??
I would have never looked at this girls shirt that way. But after reading your blog, you are so right. Thanks Tiff.
I completely agree!!
My oldest daughter just turned 5. We talk a lot about modesty, and she already has a very good sense of what is appropriate for her to wear and what isn’t. However, she isn’t always as tactful as your daughter…I guess I need to work harder on teaching her to whisper.
I actually kind of thought it was a good thing back (not long ago) when she was less subtle… I get to look embarrassed at her blurting, but the woman in question still gets to hear it!
This is so true! I have always worked with and continue to work with my daughter and her choices of clothes. She has to pass mom in order to leave the house, and I explain why something may or may not be appropriate from the store and from home.
Blessings in Yeshua HaMashiach,
Joycelyn
I agree It has been something that has been laid on my heart for awhile and I have been scared to say anything to anyone else about it. My girls do dress modest even wearing headcoverings. but I don’t say anything to our family about what they wear.
I would like to repost this or at least put up a link on my blog explaining why we do this so thank you for expressing the words I was too chicken to say myself.
At first I just thought it was cute! After reading your post I see your point.
Personally, I think it’s quite rude that your daughter makes comments about the way other women dress, particularly if those comments are loud enough to be heard. Not everyone has heard of Christian modesty standards. I hadn’t until I started reading Christian blogs a year ago.
I do dress in what I consider to be a respectful way (and more modestly than some of my friends), but it probably wouldn’t meet your standards. I applaud parents taking more care over what their children wear and think some of the fashions aimed at young children are inappropriate but that outfit is perfectly respectable in my opinion. I doubt anyone would even have given it a second thought.
Amber, I’m sorry if you were offended.
You’ll notice that I specifically said that my daughter was – of course – taught to be discrete and polite. Toddlers have to learn that lesson, though, and there are often embarrassing moments for parents, whether they comment on someone’s dress, or disability, or simply their hair color or resemblance to a relative or cartoon character! I was trying to make a lighthearted point about her naive (and admittedly inappropriate) childish comments), not truly endorse them. And, just to clarify, we’re talking primarily about people at church, here, not girls shopping at the mall…
I’m delighted to hear that you give attention to the modesty of your dress! As long as you are listening to the promptings of the Lord, you’ll be just fine…
well said Tiffany..I think it’s a process of learning and conviction for most Christian women. I am just now (even though I have been saved for 15 years) starting to seriously work on this. I realize now that I do not have to compete with the rest of the world. I am called to a higher plane and I will have to account for the way I dressed myself and allowed my daughter to dress..Honestly I know this is a hot button issue for some, but once our eyes are opened truly to the fact that our way of clothing ourselves can cause some to stumble in their faith, then we have a responisibility…it’s still a daily struggle at times…I like sleeveless here in the summer in MS, and sometimes I wear it, but not just a cami out and about….I have been actively seeking more modest clothing and I pray that I am learning to honor the Lord in this area.