…I mean, that’s self-evident, right?

But let me tell you what I mean by that.

God should be the highest priority in our life, no question.

Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, coined the phrase that sums it up, which has been a mantra for the whole company for years now:

• God First
• Family Second
• Career Third

So what’s the problem?

The problem is, there’s no “church” place on that list.

Since it’s not spelled out, and we clearly realize that serving is important, people seem to put church up there on the top line – it’s church FOR GOD, after all, right?

Then it follows that anything you do for CHURCH is done for GOD, and therefore is more important than…

Your family.

Well, hmmmmmm….

You don’t have to know me any too well to know how I feel about that little bit of false logic.

It’s (sadly) common enough to see a pastor pulled in so many directions that he neglects his family. Sometimes they may realize it along the way, sometimes not. Is that the real reason there’s a whole identifiable label we put on “PKs” (pastor’s kids)?

Our pastor at Wayside told a vivid story about this just a couple of weeks ago:

Over the summer there was one week when the schedule was just crazy. With several big events coming up, there were tons of extra meetings, including late into the evening. Pastor lives a ways from church, as well, so it all combined to be several long days in a row – he left the house before his kids (1 and 3) woke up, and didn’t get home until after they were in bed.

The next day mom was getting them ready to take dinner up and meet him for a visit between meetings. His son (the three year-old) said he didn’t want to go see Daddy. When she pressed him to find out what was going on, he declared, “Daddy doesn’t love us.”

Wow. That fast.

Being a genuinely good person, as well as a wonderful pastor, he promptly reorganized things to have time with his children.

But it’s not just pastors!

Unfortunately, not all of the hundreds of people who fill the pews on Sunday come in to teach a children’s class on Wednesday, or set up for the bake sale on Saturday. So there is a core group of dedicated people who end up giving a lot…

Maybe sometimes too much?

It makes me sad to see them volunteering to serve, when meanwhile their own overtired, ill, or just needy child is shuffled off into the nursery.

It makes me sad to hear what’s “between the lines” when a spouse talks about how much the volunteer is gone, the kids missing them, the struggle to get them all through an illness – or just bedtime…

Yes, we serve God when we serve at church.

But we must serve God first at home.

Ephesians 5 tells husbands not once but twice to love their wives as themselves.

In I Corinthians 7, Paul points out that single people are in many ways better suited for service to the church… Because, naturally, those who are married are [should be] concerned about pleasing their spouse.

The Lord has specifically charged us with taking care of our family, and raising our children in His ways.

Anything that pulls us away from that is wrong.

Anything.

Because God wouldn’t.

Church is not God.

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